New SAT is EASY (Satire)

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In a few years’ time (2016), the SAT will change its old format to a newer, easier SAT. This of course will not only make younger students happier, but more importantly make older students who have to take the old, user-unfriendly SAT, jealous.

The biggest change to the test is the 2016 revision will make wrong answers not count against your score. Currently, if you answer a question wrong, you lose points, whereas if you choose to not answer a question, you don’t get points against you. This is obviously to punish all students who are unsure about an answer. Once 2016 gets here, students could possibly Christmas tree their way to a high score and into college, so they could be crowned the king of multiple choice.

For the revised SAT, the Math portion is said to be “more direct”. That of course, means easier. CollegeBoard.org said that students will be on the “Heart of Algebra”. What does that even mean? I don’t remember any hearts in Algebra, except that my heart was sad when I got test results back. Other math skills that will be tested include geometric and trigonometric abilities, so that’s good for anyone who did well in those classes. According to the College Board, research shows that these skills show college readiness, which high school dropout Mac Donalds said was “complete baloney”. He said, “Algebra has never helped me. I can’t supersize a customer’s order using Algebra,” said Donalds.

The new SAT will raise eyebrows for sure, and scores are also sure to go up, creating a new generation of students who don’t understand the struggle.