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The news website of Osceola Fundamental High School

Warrior Record Online

The news website of Osceola Fundamental High School

Warrior Record Online

The news website of Osceola Fundamental High School

Warrior Record Online

SATIRE Valentine’s Day

Student+running+from+Deputy+Funk+with+a+heart+for+Valentines+Day.
Stone Swenson
Student running from Deputy Funk with a heart for Valentines Day.

SATIRE

Valentine’s Day is less than a month away, but love isn’t arising, chocolates aren’t tasting any better, and flowers couldn’t smell any worse. I guess it’s just another year of loneliness at OFHS. The school looks like Bergen Town from the popular movie Trolls. There are only a few people that get to experience the great 6th sense. That 6th sense being love. They say love is in all of us but love only seems to be in those that don’t want it. Spending money on someone for Valentine’s Day shouldn’t even be legal. That’s why when Josiah Crankleshoe, a junior at Osceola Fundamental High School, bought his girlfriend flowers and chocolates, the Valentine’s Day police showed up and took him away. Nobody’s heard from him for about two days. It’s almost like the school has a huge shield cast over it, protecting everyone from Cupid at all costs. Cupid almost struck a couple students with an arrow before. They looked at each other for a couple of seconds, then I guess the 6th sense just didn’t do its love work. I interviewed a student who saw the whole Josiah Crankleshoe situation, “Yeah, so Josiah Crankleshoe was just trying to escape the adversity and struggle of this school when he was asking that girl to be his valentine. The police didn’t seem to care when they pushed him on the ground and put him in hand cuffs.” Many people saw it from multiple points of view. Valentine’s Day is still about 4 weeks away, so here is a quick interview with another Osceola Fundamental Student, and this is what she said when asked, “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day at OFHS?” She said, “Um, I plan on not getting arrested,” “And why do you think OFHS is so lonely and sorrowful around this time of year?” The freshman said, “Well, many people just aren’t able to feel and show love physically.” “And what do you mean by show love physically?” “If you really looked around, love exists everywhere. But ever since phones and social media came, love has been hard to show physically. Most love is easier shown through social media and texting.” “Wow so you’re saying love does exist at OFHS?” “Yes, it does”. After that interview, OFHS isn’t gloomy and dry; it’s just colorless. People are experiencing love but in a different new way. So, maybe in some other life, Josiah Crankleshoe  will understand that this world has changed. The school has really changed for the better. The Valentine’s police were arrested and taken away. The vending machines are filled with  chocolates and love potions. Teachers are selling flowers outside the lunchroom. And OFHS is finally filled with the 6th sense….. Love.