Gorilla spotted at school (satire)


Atticus Ulrich

Gorilla spotted during spirit week.

Atticus Ulrich and Nick Rose


 On Monday morning, the school resource officers were on high alert after a gorilla was spotted on the Osceola campus. Officers began working to apprehend the gorilla after it challenged several students for the title of the alpha male.

After an hour of pursuit, the officers were able to corner the gorilla in the English hallway.

However, the gorilla began to challenge the officers, which caused the officers to use bananas to lure the gorilla off the school campus. It was met by zookeepers who were waiting to transport the gorilla to a local zoo. However, the gorilla was able to escape capture and began to halt traffic as it made its escape across the 102nd Avenue bridge.

The gorilla continued its path down 102nd Ave., making a few appearances in Walsingham Park. Police tried to block its path with multiple vehicles, however, the gorilla was successfully able to climb over multiple police vehicles, causing over 20 thousand dollars in damages. It continued to make its way to Indian Shores, where it caused another 100 thousand dollars in damages to the local businesses in its path. The gorilla was eventually tranquilized by a non-lethal shot from Officer O’Reilly, who was in a police chopper flying overhead, stopping its path of destruction.

On Friday, an award ceremony will take place as Officer O’Reilly will be awarded the medal of honor and a key to the city by the mayor of Seminole, Desiree Walkers. The gorilla is now planned to be transported via ship to a wildlife preserve in Tanzania, Africa.

Protesters are reported to march down 102nd Ave. this upcoming Sunday morning in protest of the transportation of the now-named George the gorilla. Netflix is in the planning stages to make a documentary about the incident that occurred, reported to be released in August of 2023.