The Milky Marble
Artist: Margaret Hynes
February 3, 2017
SATIRE
According to a recent study piloted by Yehuda Hoffman, Daniel Pomarède, R. Brent Tully, and Hélène M. Courtois found in their Nature Astronomy article entitled The Dipole Repeller, the Milky Way Galaxy is being relocated by a, now what is determined to be, a gargantuan anthropoid hand.
“Honestly, we thought it was just an undetected energy, since the galaxy has been moving at a relative speed for almost 30 years. But after persistent study of our astronomical photos, no pun intended, we’ve perceived this not just some invisible force. It seems we are being rolled, in a sense, by a child’s hand,” explains Robert Handorf, chief of staff at Astronomy & Paranormal Institute for Research.
In fact, there is more to the story than meets the eye.
“Apparently, according to our maps of galactic flow, the Milky Way seems to be sheathed in a glass-like orb, resembling that of an archetypal child’s marble. In fact, the photos of the humanoid hand exemplify the roundedness of this enclosure, as the hand is actually gripping the, what we now refer to as, Milky Marble, in a globular fashion,” clarifies Susie Sanders, manager at the Institute for Astronomy in Honolulu.
Hurtling rapidly through the enormity of the universe at approximately 2 million kilometers per hour, our Milky Way Galaxy seems to be systematically “rolling” towards an opulently dense expanse of galaxy masses also encased in glass-like orbs.
“It almost seems like this ‘hand’ we’re seeing is tossing us towards a pile of marbles, like a marble game,” comments Harold Henry, a prominent researcher and scholar of outer space.
As of late, little is known as to what exactly will happen when our galaxy “marble” will collide with the other galaxy “marbles.”
“Maybe it’ll be like bowling pins. That’d be cool, I guess,” says Jerry Jerome, a NASA enthusiast.
This is a satire based off of the following article: http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/31/world/milky-way-dipole-repeller-space-trnd/index.html
